Spring, 2021 WCI Writing Contest
Writing and Critical Inquiry Contest Celebration
Spring 2021
The Personal Inquiry Category:
Winner: “But We Didn’t” by MacKenzie Brown
Bio: MacKenzie Brown is currently a freshman at the University at Albany. She is a direct admit to the criminal justice program and is also minoring in psychology. After obtaining her degree, MacKenzie plans to attend Albany Law School to become a criminal defense attorney. In her free time, MacKenzie loves coaching youth soccer, hiking, and working out.
Student Response:
“This essay is a perfect example of a captivating story and scene. While reading this, I could feel the suspense and emotions that the author was put through during this. While perfecting this scene, they also nailed the personal inquiry part by explaining how an event like this effected their day to day life and growth as a person. At the end of this essay, I feel like there was a resolution of conflict in the author. They came to terms with how the event unfolded and stopped feeling guilty about it. After being shown the events post car crash in this essay, I could understand how traumatic this experience was and how daily life was changed because of it. “
Interview:
Finalists:
Bio: “Leah is going to be a junior at UAlbany this coming fall. Living at home, Leah works full time at a family owned restaurant and also is a full time student pursing a major in business management and a minor in sociology. Outside of school and work, Leah enjoys being outdoors hiking, skiing, or playing with her dog Murray.
Leah is part of the LGBTQ+ community and has struggled with mental illness and identity for the better part of her life, which was the inspiration for this essay. Leah is a strong advocate and has a deep passion for mental illness“
Student Response:
I think the writer did an amazing job on this paper. Writing about something so personal such as one's own mental health had to be difficult to do. This paper was packed with detail to the point where I could almost feel the sadness and confusion the writer had on the first day of 6th grade. I liked how well the writer was able to explain their own anxiety. I know many people will be able to relate to this.”
“Playing the Game” by Caroline Sherwin
Bio: Caroline Sherwin is a first-year student at the University at Albany's School of Business. She plans on majoring in business administration and marketing and hopes to combine these skills with her love of music and interest in the music industry. In her free time, Caroline's hobbies include playing the guitar, and spending time with friends and family.
Student Response:
“This essay has a very powerful message behind it. The importance of diversity cannot be overstated and the author explains this fact in the essay, and even compares our struggle with it to issues in the natural ecosystem. Her story in the beginning about "how to out-normal each other" sheds light on her own personal experience with finding diversity in a group, and is relatable to recent high school graduates everywhere. The moment when she hears her sister's conversation about what people really feel like at college is very important. This is what her inquiry is all about by realizing that being confused is actually normal, not pretending to be perfect.”
The Analysis Category
Winner: “Young Career Decision-Making in Modern America” by Danielle Modica
Bio: Danielle Modica is a first-year student at the University, majoring in Business Administration with a minor in Journalism. She is involved in various clubs and is a prominent contributor to the Albany Student Press. Modica is also a part of the Presidential Honors Society and Omicron Delta Kappa Leadership Society. She is a passionate writer and plans to keep writing as a large part of her future.
Student Response:
“I really enjoyed reading this piece and it brought into question something we all always have on our mind, the future. Using the sources and ideas brought up gave me a better understanding of how I got where I am today. The piece brought up a lot of great points that led to even more questions about it. It was a great read and the use of the sources made it even better, it was as if the fit the paper perfectly. The author was able to integrate them in a great way which I loved.”
Interview:
Finalists:
“Concussions and Symptoms” by Sarah Hudi
Bio:
Student Response:
“This essay was successful in sustaining critical inquiry as the research in sex differences for concussions and TBIs is an issue mentioned. The writer stresses the fact that people needed to be educated on this topic of concussions as sex differences impact the severity of the injury. They also effectually include information about what other people have said about the issue and elucidate why a study included is credible. This writer is truly successful in maintaining critical inquiry as they go from one question to the next because each discovery leads to an additional question to research. They even ended the essay with questions which is incredible and truly archives the purpose of the inquiry and analysis writing.”
“Behind Barred Doors” by Victoria Doherty
Bio: Victoria is a first year student at the University at Albany. She is majoring in psychology and minoring in English. She will soon be starting the accelerated 3+3 law program next semester in hopes of attending law school at Albany Law and becoming an attorney. Currently on campus, she is a member of the Presidential Honors Society and the National Society of Collegiate Scholars. Victoria also has passions in music, dance, and art, which she plans to incorporate in her future at UAlbany.
Student Response:
“I liked the historical intro because they talked about America as a whole in relation to democracy then the writer proceeded to state the topic and introduce the research question. I liked that the author used a lot of personal anecdotes/perspectives. The writer also managed to tie their examples together to establish connections. The ending of the paper was well said: “It also illustrates that this topic is so broad and diverse in which it can not only be considered a social issue, but also a human right one….” This puts emphasis on the severity of the issue. Overall, the paper was very interesting to read.”
The Argument/Conversation Category:
Winner: “Modern United States Police Interrogation Techniques: Effective or Cruel?” by MacKenzie Brown
Bio: MacKenzie Brown is currently a freshman at the University at Albany. She is a direct admit to the criminal justice program and is also minoring in psychology. After obtaining her degree, MacKenzie plans to attend Albany Law School to become a criminal defense attorney. In her free time, MacKenzie loves coaching youth soccer, hiking, and working out.
Student Response:
“I thought that this essay really fulfilled the assignment. I could identify the thesis, the writer included some background on the topic, their own comment on the discussion, rationale, claims, and rebuttal. It really made me think about the modern criminal justice system and there is an effective organizational order in the writing. I was not confused as the writer went from one point to the next.”
Interview:
Finalists:
“Baseline Testing” by Sarah Hudi
Bio:
Student Response:
“In "Baseline Testing," I appreciate that they bring out a personal anecdote to their research. Their paper is easy to understand and there is a good evidence to explanation ratio. They also use a lot of evidence and some of this evidence includes specific primary sources like interviews, which is great.”
“Fairytale Therapy in the Modern World” by Pavel Fedarynau
Bio: Pavel Fedarynau is a sophomore at the University at Albany majoring in Informatics with a concentration in Data Analytics. In his free time, he enjoys diving and photography. Pavel thanks Dr. Allison Craig for teaching the course of critical writing, which was an exciting journey for him, opening a new, exploratory, inquisitive world of words and meanings, which he will continue to follow both professionally and in everyday life.
Student Response:
“Throughout this essay you immediately see how much time and effort this student put into the piece. I was not expecting to see a different format for an essay and once I opened the piece and saw how the writer connected her topic to the design of the essay, I was extremely impressed. I think presentation of piece is important, because it makes the piece stand out compared towards the others. I am a visual learner and love art and because of that I had an attachment towards this piece because of all the designs and pictures that are placed throughout the piece. I thought it was very interesting how the writer started and ended the essay with the same type of a fairy tale story book with the “once upon a time”, “and they lived happily ever after...” and “the end”.”
