Move Over, Heartfelt Chats — It’s the Gift That Counts

By Paul Miller 

ALBANY, N.Y. (Oct 3, 2024) — The next time you're looking to cheer up a friend or loved one, giving them a small gift — flowers, candy, a homemade treat — may lift their spirits faster and better than a supportive talk.  

"I think there's this idea in society that ... talking to others can be difficult and that you shouldn't just buy your way out of doing it," says Wiener. "What I really like about this finding is that it's kind of a win-win where the thing that feels easier for the giver is actually more beneficial for the recipient." 

Wiener and her research partners acknowledge more studies need to be done and caution that constant gifts and higher perceived levels of sacrifice could actually cause feelings of indebtedness or even guilt in the recipient. If you're thinking that springing for a shared gift experience, like a spa treatment or kayaking trip is the perfect answer, the researchers say to consider that the gesture could be perceived by the recipient as partially self-motivated. 

Still, the next time you want to help lift someone's spirits and you’re tempted to talk it out, maybe reach for the gift wrap instead.