Sexual Assault Resource Center

Relationship/Partner Violence

Relationship violence:
"any harmful, unwanted physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional act inflicted by a casual or intimate dating partner with the intention, either real or perceived, of causing pain or injury to another person"

(Wisner, Gilmer, Saltzman, & Zink, 1999, p. 439).

RED FLAG Behavior:

  • Feel bad about yourself, worthless in the relationship
  • Partner is controlling with where you go, who you socialize with
  • Partner abuses alcohol or other drugs
  • Use of any force during an argument - pushing, throwing things
  • Partner blames others or you for their own feelings or problems
  • Breaking or striking objects
  • Isolates you from friends and family
  • Jealousy – when you talk or interact with others
  • Jekyll & hyde quality to how your partner reacts to you
  • Hypersensitivity
  • "playful" use of force during sex
  • Quick involvement
  • Rigid sex roles
  • Threats of violence
  • Verbal abuse

Healthy Relationships:

  1. Communication
    • clear, open, can agree to disagree at times
  2. Respect
    • Value the person, treat them like they are worthy
  3. Trust
    • honest, truthful
  4. Supportive
    • Looking out for your interests
  5. Safe
    • Free to be yourself, not walking on egg shells