 |
|
 |
 |
|
He's heard all the reasons parents think it's a waste of time to talk to
their teenagers about sex and alcohol, and he's heard all the reasons
teenagers would be happy to avoid such conversations with their parents.
But after exhaustively analyzing communications between parents and teenagers in thousands of families, Jaccard, a University at Albany social psychologist, has developed a few key suggestions—and scientific evidence to back them up. His No.1 suggestion? Parents, talk to your teenagers, especially about issues like sex and alcohol. It's definitely worth it. |
 |
|
"Parents do make a difference. They can have an impact on their kids,"
says Jaccard, "I think researchers are coming to realize just how important
parents are."
Some might say it's an obvious truth. But, says Jaccard, too many parents don't believe it, or they don't know the best ways to talk with their teenagers. And even in his field, says Jaccard, he's had to overcome the view that parents have little effect on adolescents. "Many years ago when I first started looking at prevention approaches to teenage pregnancies, I did a thorough review of the literature on the topic. I found there were very few programs that were parent-based and the people who were doing research in the area were concluding that parents have little effect on adolescents," he recounts. "I did a critique of that research and found it methodologically and conceptually weak. I evolved some theoretical approaches to the communication process, and as I've applied them empirically, I've found that parents can make a difference in their adolescents' lives," says Jaccard, who became a faculty member in the University's Department of Psychology in 1982 and was awarded the highest faculty rank, Distinguished Professor, by the State University of New York Board of Trustees in December. Today, some 15 years after he began looking at prevention approaches, Jaccard is nationally recognized for his work. The author of five books and over 100 journal articles, he has been awarded over $4.5 million in support from major research organizations over the last ten years. His findings and insights are now instrumental in defining theory and practice in efforts to reduce adolescent pregnancy and drunk driving by adolescents. In the academic world, he is known for his excruciating attention to measurement, and through his surveys of thousands of families, he has carefully analyzed the content and extent of communications between parents and teenagers in the areas of alcohol and sexual behavior. Simply stated, Jaccard has found that parents generally don't talk enough with their children about these topics. And when they do talk with them, he says, "it's usually fairly superficial, especially with respect to alcohol—it often comes down to `just don't do it.' It needs to be pursued in more depth and I think parents need to accept that responsibility as part of parenting." When parents do pursue topics in greater depth and do have healthy ongoing communication with their teenagers, they influence the behavior of their adolescents. They strengthen their children's ability to make wise decisions, says Jaccard. Consider, for example, a teenager who has been drinking alcohol at a party and must now decide whether he or she will drive home. The teenager is surrounded by peers who have also been drinking. In that situation, the "just don't do it" warning may not be sufficient. "What we have found in our research is that it is not only important how adolescents construe the act of drunk driving but also how they construe the alternatives available to them, how they see the advantages and disadvantages of asking a friend to drive a car or calling their parents and asking them for a ride home. Those things are just as important as how they construe the act of drunk driving. "When you look at the materials that are covered in health education classes, they never discuss those things. The focus is on the negative consequences of drunk driving when you really do need to look at those other things as well. Health education teachers often say they don't have the time to get into these areas. But parents can take the time and can make the difference," says Jaccard. |
 |
|
In short, when parents and their teenagers discuss drunken driving, not only
should parents say "don't do it" and talk about the serious possible
consequences, but they should also talk about situations that may arise and
how best to handle them. They should work out an acceptable and viable plan
for what to do if a teenager makes the mistake of drinking too much.
"The safest thing is to call home for a ride or to call for a taxi," says Jaccard in a handbook he's developed for parents. "Explore these options with your teens, but be realistic. For example, you might say, `When I was a teen, there was no way I would have called my parents in such a case. How can we do this so that I know you will?'" At the same time, parents should take a strong stance against under-age drinking, Jaccard says. "With the younger adolescents, what the research shows is that if parents are somewhat forgiving about their children drinking, then that usually leads to greater levels of drinking," he notes. In A Parent Handbook for Talking with Adolescents about Drunk Driving, Jaccard offers all this advice and much more with the aim of "opening communication channels with teens and strengthening communication between parents and teens." He has also developed a handbook that offers advice on the issue of sex and birth control. Both are full of tips and information that both teenagers and parents should find helpful. With the same meticulous approach he has taken toward his research, he is field-testing his handbooks with hundreds of families, and once that is completed, he says, he hopes "to make them as widely accessible for as little as possible." All the advice and information in the handbooks, he notes, is based on the detailed psychological research that he and his colleagues have conducted for more than 15 years, as well as on scientific literature from the fields of psychology, communication, and sociology. Too often, he says, that scientific basis is lacking in "over-the-counter" literature and the popular press. "I've been very carefully and systematically trying to compare families where communication is good, where things seem to work, where kids are developing in a positive healthy way—versus families where that is not the case—and trying to get insights into what makes a difference," says Jaccard about his years of research. His research, for example, "has shown over and over again that a strong abstinence position on the part of the parent makes a difference in whether teenagers engage in premarital sex. If you start sending mixed messages, things happen," he says. "One of the toughest issues for parents is how to, on the one hand, convey your disapproval of your adolescent engaging in sex at an early age and the fact that you are not comfortable with them doing so, while at the same time giving them information about birth control so that if they do engage in sex they do so in a way that is safe. "We respect the values of parents who are opposed to birth control, but we still urge them to talk to their children about it. At the very least, they need to explain their opposition and to put this in perspective for the teen. Adolescents will hear about birth control. Parents should ensure that their children have a value structure that will put what they hear into context," says Jaccard. As with alcohol and drunk driving, parents should think through and confront a wide range of issues concerning teenagers' sexual behavior, he says. |
 |
|
"In the area of sex and birth control, most parents, when they talk with
their kids, talk about the dangers of pregnancy and the dangers of sexually
transmitted disease. There's a lot more going on in an adolescent's head than
the threat of disease and pregnancy. There are many other reasons that they
are thinking about becoming sexually active when they are very young and all
of those need to be confronted," he says.
If parents do talk with their teenagers about birth control, "you have to convey in no uncertain terms that you are not suggesting that they have sex... You need to take that extra step and make sure they don't think you are more approving of sex than you really are," says Jaccard. And especially in that context, it's important to consider a broad range of reasons for not having sex, he adds. "If the only two reasons kids aren't having sex are pregnancy and disease and you reduce those threats by telling them about condoms, they probably are going to be more likely to have sex. "But if there are a whole set of other reasons for abstaining from sex, then those will help guide your teenager's behavior. That's why it's very important to talk about the range of issues—the social consequences, the moral consequences, the emotional consequences—in addition to the physical consequences of disease and pregnancy," he says. Jaccard, for one, plans to use his advice in talking with his own daughter. "When she was born, I had just begun the work on how parents can influence the decision-making skills of their adolescents in the area of alcohol. And I remember thinking that I would be ready by the time she was teenager. She has just turned 10 and I may be ready," he says.
|
 |
|