Sexual Assault Resource Center

Immediate Steps

What to do if your friend has been raped...


Believe them

  • You may want to minimize what happened because it is hard to imagine it happened.

Listen to them

  • Let them talk, try very hard not to interrupt and try not to ask too many questions all at once.
  • Be calm to assure them you can handle hearing what happened.

Do not ask any "WHY" questions

  • Questions that begin with why can sound judgmental
  • It is best never to ask questions that begin with “Why did you do this…., or Why did you not do this….” because an individual can feel judged.

Provide resources

  • Safety first
  • Medical
  • Sexual Assault Resource Center
  • Counseling

Encourage but do not force a person to seek help

  • If your friend is not in imminent danger then you cannot require in any way they seek help.
  • Provide the options and information and let them decide

Do not discuss plans for getting back at the perpetrator

  • If the survivor is now concerned about you putting yourself in danger they may stop telling you information or change what they would tell you to keep you safe.
  • If you start talking about your plans to take charge the survivor may then become concerned about you and the focus now shifts from their needs to worry about your safety.

Do not be afraid to check in with the person

  • It is always good to revisit the person and to bring up the conversation again and see how the person is doing.
  • Sometimes when we help others we can provide a lot of information. The person who has been assaulted may not remember all the information. It may be helpful to check back with them to see if the need the information again or if they have any questions.
  • They may also need reassurance that they can decide to access services at any time whenever they are ready.

Seek out supports for yourself as needed.

  • Depending on your relationship with the person you too may be affected by this experience.
  • You can talk with others about how this affecting you without revealing the survivor's name.

For all emergency safety concerns, call 911

  1. Seek medical care immediately:
    • Five Quad - Can provide transportation to the hospital - 911 or (518)442-3131 (cell phone)
    • Albany Medical Center - Provides medical care and a forensic evidence exam - (518)262-3131
    • University Health Center - Basic medical care - (518)442-5454
  2. To report the incident:
    • Incident occured on campus:
      • University Police - 911 (campus phone) or (518)442-3131 (cell phone)
      • Office of Conflict Resolution & Civic Responsibility - (518)442-5501
    • Incident occured off campus:
      • Albany Police - 911 or (518)438-4000
      • Office of Conflict Resolution & Civic Responsibility - (518)442-5501 (if the perpetrator or survivor is a student)
  3. To seek support, information or counseling:
    • Sexual Assault Resource Center - (518)956-8461
    • University Counseling Center - (518)442-5800
    • Crime Victim and Sexual Violence Center (CVSVC) - Open 24 hrs/day - (518)447-7716 - Counseling is also available at (518)447-7100
    • Middle Earth Peer Assistance Hotline - (518)442-5777
  4. To seek assistance with coordination of campus services:
    • Office of the Vice President for Student Success: (518) 956-8140 – Cynthia Brady

For more detailed information about University’s response plan, please visit: “What You Can Do... If You or A Friend is Sexually Assaulted”.