1) Put on some fantastico! music and prepare your applesauce for cooking (go to step #7 for directions on how to do this.)
2) Prepare the potatoes to be shredded in the food processor. It is crucial to sing to the potatoes as you are shredding them. They are emotional and need to be reassured (red potatoes always feel they should be sliced instead.) I sing opera, but you can go Streisand and that would still be fine.
3) After shredding is complete, submerge shreds in a bowl of iced water, drain, wrap in a clean towel and squeeze!
4) Add the remaining ingredients to the processor and PULSE them to blend. ("...like you BLEND..." - Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny.)
5) Stir together the pretty mess with the shreds of potato.
6) Make thin patties on a non-stick cookie pan (or lightly oiled pan) and bake those puppies in the oven at 400 degrees for 10 minutes (or fry in lard to make heavy.) Hmmmmm, which sounds more appealing?
7) Serve with homemade apple sauce! (Four large juicy, fresh and happy apples - never use unhappy apples because they will ruin your sauce.) Peel, core, cut up, add I cup water, and boil until saucy. You can add more water if it's too thick. If you like your sauce sweet, add honey or sugar to the pan just after it begins boiling. This whole thing (from eyeing your very pretty apples to making apple pulp) takes only 15 minutes or so (and don't you hate it when people say that?!?!)