English 521: Composition Theory and Pedagogy

     All my life, I have always excelled in the subject of English. I always read every chance I got. It was only later in my school career that I began to deal with writing. The idea of writing scared me, especially creative writing.

     It all began in sixth grade when I was asked to write a creative writing piece for Thanksgiving. Until that point, the only experience I had in writing was poems and short writing pieces assigned in class. The idea of thinking of what to write made me nervous. I worried if my work would be as good as the other students and if I would write about the "right thing." I tried hard to think about what to write. I found it difficult to express my thoughts clearly in writing. The topic of Thanksgiving was not appealing to me at all. Finally, I decided to take a comical approach to the idea of Thanksgiving.

     I wrote about a turkey named "Bob"who was living on a turkey farm. In my story, he was convincing humans why they shouldn't eat turkey's for Thanksgiving. After writing my story, I knew that I liked it but wondered what would the teacher think. I handed it in to the teacher and surprisingly she loved my story and was glad I took the initiative in writing about something different. I now felt encouraged to write with my own ideas. The only obstacle was I did not get much practice in writing or expressing my own ideas and opinions in class.

     In junior high school, I spent most of my time doing book reports in my English classes. When I entered high school, I was once again given the opportunity to express my own ideas and stories. By the time I was allowed to do it again, I was very much out of practice and spent a lot of time worrying about what the other students were writing. I always felt the other students were better writers and I was always afraid to share my work with others.

     I was in an English honors class but I was always comparing my writing to others in the class. Some writings were so abstract that I viewed my writing as somewhat simplistic. If my writing dealt with anything concrete like research, I felt confident because books were there to back me up. To write from ideas of my own was something I was not comfortable with or really encouraged to do before. Because of this, I feel I hindered my process and my potential as a writer.

     When I entered SUNY Albany as a freshman, I had the pleasure of encountering a teacher who encouraged me to write without limitations. On every piece of literature read in class, we had to hand in a writing assignment. In the assignment, we could write anything we wanted to, in any form, on what was read. I didn't have much confidence in my writing because of my former experiences. The idea of having to write on my own scared me. This teacher encouraged us and always appreciated whatever we wrote. I eventually was competent and eventually excelled in this form of "free" writing. Early on in my college career, I had taken other classes where I was allowed to express my ideas and opinions. As I became an upper classman, I found that some teachers shied away from letting us express our own ideas.

     As a Biology major I learned quite skillfully how to write based on facts and results. When I became an English major as well, I looked forward to being able to explore the other side of writing. Instead I ended up doing the same type of writing as before, only this time it was based on literature. As I entered this year into graduate study, I find it is the exact opposite and it has thrown me off guard.

     I was out of practice again, in expressing my own ideas to the professor and the class. I felt unsure of myself expressing ideas in class. School only started three weeks ago and I am already feeling at ease with my writing. I am becoming used to the idea of free writing all over again. In this class I have read about cases similar to mine in which students were not encouraged to write of their own free mind. It is something that can have a lasting effect on a student. It is important to encourage students in their writings. Many teachers have scared students away from writing for themselves. We may have hindered or stopped the growth of a potentially great writer. I have learned that there is another way to help students with their writing instead of there being a concrete yes or no answer. I hope to learn more about processes of teaching which will enhance other students writings.

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